Parenting With Teenagers

When it comes to raising a kid every parent wants to be the best parent. Many of them wonder if they are giving the right environment for the physical and behavioral growth of their kids. The reality is; most parents do not remain the best parents or at least good parents.

How do you know if you are good parents for your children? Is there any easy way to understand if your parenting styles are appropriate? A BIG question with very few answers.

There aren’t any specific rules or guidelines for parenting. Parenting is, in fact, the interpersonal relationship between parents and children. This Relationship is very personal and what works between few parents and children may not be the same for certain parents and children. There are several aspects to consider when deciding how children should be raised and what approach parents need to adapt to grow children in the best way. However behavioral experts suggest few general aspects and approaches that are generally regarded as elements of good parenting and being good parents for children.

Expressing love and affection is the most important way to be good parents. Many parents say they love their children more than any parent does, however, their kids complain about less affectionate and less loved parents. Love and affection, when they are not expressed, are worthless.

Parents need to make their children feel that they love children. Saying to children or expressions like an embrace can accomplish that goal. Give them gifts and be sumptuous by highlighting the good works of the children. Gentle cuddle, encouragement, appreciation, etc., can increase children’s confidence and feel that parents love them and stand for them always.

Never criticize your children in a destructive way. Always wear a smile when you talk to your children. When you love your children, let him be unconditional. Maintain mutual respect with your children. Consider them as complete human beings, not your assistants or immature beings. Although children always need your help, make them feel they are able to do things even without your help. This will make them quite confident.

If you teach your children to respect your privacy, then give them the same in return. Rules and regulations must be followed by both parties. Show them how to live instead of just telling them the same thing. Tips rarely work on children and they learn to live by observing people around them regardless of quality.

Children need parental care and concern. Never let them feel avoided or undesirable. Talk to them and listen to them always. Children like to talk and they ask parents to be good listeners. Never obstruct children’s discussions or interfere. Let them express all their feelings to you and through this, you can understand what they really want and how they feel about you.

Being good parents makes children happier and safer. Do not argue with the spouse in front of the children, as they may feel unsafe or insecure.

Favoritism is another must to avoid the appearance in parenting. If you have multiple children, do not show favoritism towards an individual. Make all children feel that you love them too. Never compare between your children and do not ask a child to be like the other. Choosing the sides when children discuss or punish a child when others are also involved in the crime etc. is quite unfair and destructive. By solving problems between children, be neutral and fair.

Good parents must be consistent in their parenting styles. If you ask children to follow certain rules, always follow the same rules. Do not be flexible according to your comfort. The rules must be rules what can happen. This approach will infuse in children the sense of the importance of obeying parents always. Be good to yourself, it’s how to be good parents.

Things You Should Consider When Become Parent

When I became a parent, I tried so very hard to be the best parent I could be. Sometimes I was great and other times was riddled with guilt and shame for the way I parented.

What I realized, but not until years later, was I constantly parented from my place of hurt. My childhood wounds. Kids will trigger these wounds and the behaviour that comes out of us parents is sometimes inexcusable.

Being in a place where you are driven by your demons, makes you very selfish. Whatever happens, you make it about you. Of course it doesn’t feel like that. You are in self- protection mode.

Protecting your younger self, yet again. The inner child that was so beaten and shamed. Trying to save itself from anymore pain.

If you have gone through trauma in your life, sooner or later you build up mechanisms for protection.

It could show up in any number of ways such as:
– Anger
– Hatred
– Lack of trust
– Fear
– Self Pity
– Victim-hood
To name a few

I had some of these behaviours and after doing self-help for years, I finally found and understood why I did what I did and why it was so hard to just stop the behaviour.

To start with, I had some very debilitating beliefs, stored memories and a victim mentality. Although I never sought out for pity, I continually made excuses and reinforced to myself what was drilled into my head from infant hood. I was good for nothing, a waste of skin, and because of that, will amount to nothing in my lifetime.

That is the same language I ended up saying to myself.

I never questioned my own words, because lets face it, what you have been told with intense emotion, repeatedly, you believe. I heard it over and over with absolute certainty while growing up.

How could I not believe it and to top it off, my life was showing me exactly that, making it my reality. You can’t fight what is right in front of you right?

On the flip side, I had/have big dreams. Although I had a victim mentality it did not stop me from getting on with life. We all have the choice to choose the outcome of our lives, even after enduring horrific, emotional torture. It just takes a lot longer, especially of you go it alone.

Luckily, I found a better way and was given the opportunity to go back and right my wrongs.

And let me tell you, that was as emotionally torturous as enduring it in the first place.

My business life now, is the sole reflection of my deepest past struggles. Because of those struggles, I work with others so they don’t have to endure what I did.

The bottom line is, whatever you are struggling with from your past, will bleed out into your parenting. Heal your wounds now, before your bundle of joy gets sucked into the vortex of your hurt.

How To Motivate Your Children

Some children grow up to be fulfilled and successful adults.

Some children although intelligent are not motivated to do well.

Bringing small changes at home can improve child’s motivation. Some points to consider are:

1. If you are happy, your child will do better. Create happy environment at home.

The proponents of positive Psychology suggest that if you are happy in present situation, your intelligence, creativity, energy level and productivity increases.

2. Use complex sentences in everyday conversations. Your kids will achieve high scores on literacy-related tasks in kindergarten.

3. Be involved parents.

Make sure child has learnt his lessons well.

Find out where he is facing problems.

Help him to clear his doubts.

Help him in organising things.

Provide support with homework. Your child will do better in classroom.

4. Be involved in school matters. Attend Teacher- parents meetings. Participate in school activities.

5. Recognize and appreciate your child’s efforts.

If your child has made a card, put it up on the fridge. If he has written a poem, listen to it and show your delight.

This will encourage your child. He will feel confident.

6. If you aim high, the child will strive hard to do well to fulfil your expectations. You must expect your kid to do well.

It is also important to put right amount of pressure on kids. Too much pressure can create stress. That is not healthy for the child.

7. Have fixed schedule. We have internal clock working for us. If we study at the same time on the same desk, our concentration will be better.

sleeping and waking up at the same time brings out optimal performance.

8. Create conducive atmosphere. If your child is studying, may be you can do your work or read a book rather than watching T.V. or socializing.

(This applies if your child is young and the place of residence is small. Slowly, of course you have to teach child to become independent as he grows.)

9. It is necessary to teach children to deal with their emotions.

Anger control, Impulse control, Predicting action outcomes will keep the child in healthy mental state.

10. It is necessary to feel good and confident about oneself. The child should feel that he is capable of achieving what he is set out to achieve.

11. Taking responsibility for one’s life and striving hard to make it successful requires right attitude. If the child has a sense of entitlement, he will not work hard.

How To Teach Your Kids To Be Responsible

Parents often confuse obedience with responsibility. Over time, most parents want children to accept ownership for a task or chore – the children do it because it needs to be done and accept that it is their obligation to do it. Over time, they may even initiate doing a task “because it needs to be done” – not because they are being told to do it. This attitude would be called responsibility. But allowing a child to “do it his way” will encourage a feeling of pride in accomplishment and foster a sense of responsibility.

Finding the balance between over-managing and under-parenting is an art. If you have ever wondered if you are being either too strict or too lenient, or if you are giving your children enough love, then you have stumbled upon considerations about the two important roles that parents have. Each has a part in helping your children become responsible.

You teach your children to be appreciative for what they have. Children need their parents to carry out both roles; healthy parenting occurs when children are raised in a home in which there is unconditional love along with clear boundaries, limits, rules and consequences.

Children feel capable when they have a sense of power, competency and control over their lives, believe that they can handle challenges and that they are able to make a contribution to their environment, and when they feel pride in accomplishment. These things will increase a child’s responsibility.

Not expecting enough or demanding enough of children. By carrying out the “Executive” role, parents can avoid the pitfalls of over-indulgence, help their children to feel good about themselves and learn to be responsible. This includes such things as: setting limits, saying no, holding children accountable, establishing and enforcing rules, setting expectations, encouraging children to give back, in some way assigning chores and making sure they get done setting and following through with consequences.

This needs action. As parents, there are endless things we want to teach our children-how to be thoughtful and caring, how to be creative and innovative, how to be trustworthy and honest, how to be a good listener, and much more.

It’s one thing to try teaching our child responsibility by telling him “You need to be more responsible and pick up after yourself.” It is much easier and more effective to encourage our child to make his bed if we do the same when we wake up. This simply means that we are physically present in our home.

Kids love to help. To them, chores don’t feel like work. Keep up positive vibes by offering specific praises for actions. Children will develop a sense of ownership for any repeated action.

But sometimes, parents are afraid to let kids suffer, be sad or angry, but if we always solve children’s problems, they will not learn to be responsible as they grow up.

This article will help us, parents, to teach our kids to become responsible individual in the future.